Questionnaire Friday!

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
I was in the shower. The blue one. Singing loudly. Show tunes. Jazz Hands!

2. Who are you in love with?
Stewart Sir Alexander von Sexypants Alexis. And also the other love of my life, Austin Whisker Biscuits Alexis.

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Can’t say that I have. But if I did, it would surely be wrapped in bacon.

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
There is my previous post about the pink bunny suit. Does that count? Because it’s VERY pink.

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Right after I over-applied black eyeliner, threw on my skull and crossbones hoodie, painted my nails onyx, and had my mom drop me off so I could meet my other emo friends at Hot Topic.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
Neither socks nor shoes. At work. Hang on, OSHA is on the other line.

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
That’s debatable. Black Betty is worth diamonds and gold to me. Kelley Blue Book disagrees. Just over 2 grand for trade-in value. Close to 3 grand for private party value.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
I went to our hunting camp in Miz-sippi about a month ago. But technically Stew drove. Cause of me having a tiny woman brain and all.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Ugh, no. And I’m dying to see Saw 6. Cause now after spending a good 10 hours of my life watching Saws 1-5, I figure I’m emotionally and financially invested.

10. Are you hot?
Not right now. Thanks to the cool front reported by Bob Breck. And his hair. His glossy, silvery, Lloyd Christmas hair. Take a moment of silence, please.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
An iced grande dark roast with skim milk and one Sweet-n-Low. Not because I’m pretentious though. Because you have to speak Barista slang in order for them to get your stupid coffee order right. Plus, we were out of Folgers at the office.

12. What are you wearing right now?
The same outfit as in question 5. Because my mom is picking me up in the mini van later. She better give me my allowance so I can get some Sbarro at the food court.

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
I usually let the rain wash it. But I highly recommend taking your neurotic dog along in the back seat when you go thru the car wash. It’s a hoot.

14. Last food that you ate?
A bacon wrapped crayon.

15. Where were you last week at this time?
I was in the shower. The blue one. Rapping to Snoop Dogg. One, two, three and to the Fo.

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Don’t worry Stew, no pink bunny suits. Yet.

17. When is the last time you ran?
While walking the dog 2 days ago. He pooped on someone’s driveway and we needed to make ourselves scarce. Fast.

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Saints vs. Dolphins. Black and Gold Superbowl, baybee! Life’s a Brees!

19. What is your favorite animal?
A mutilated Dolphin. See above. Almost as much as a decapitated Falcon. See Monday.

20. Your dream vacation?
Ideally, early retirement. If we’re being honest.

21. Last person's house you were in?
My own. And it smells like dried Bambi carcass. Because Stew is currently making deer jerky in the dehydrator.

22. Worst injury you've ever had?
That one time Stew play-tackled me and I fell into our entertainment center (which, at that time was composed of cinder blocks and plywood, because we’re classy like that) and I sliced my elbow open and gallons of blood squirted all over the city of University Place, WA (Hi Washington friends!) and I couldn’t lift my arm for weeks and I still have a scar and I made Stew feel really bad about it for oh, 8 years now? Don’t worry, he made sure I didn’t dent the cinder blocks.

23. Have you been in love?
Well, I do love Stew. And Austin. And lamp.

24. What makes you laugh?
When my dog burps. When my mom refers to M.C. Hammer as McHammer. Christopher Walken. And this website: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

25. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Duct tape and death threats. With a confident smile.