Where is your Father?
Alphebetizing his extensive collection of tiny hotel shampoo bottles, shower caps, and emergency sewing kits. Then later making an Excel spreadsheet for inventory purposes. (Hi Dad!)
What is the closest orange object to you?
I have an economy-sized box of orange ear plugs on my desk...
Did you cry because Michael Jackson died?
YeeHee...and I dried my tears with a single sequined glove...YeeHee...
What does your 9th message on your phone say?
Our defense has scored 2 more touchdowns than the Browns' offense this year. Who Dat!
Look to your left. What's there?
Everything I own in a box to the left...
How long does it take you to fall asleep?
I'm sorry, what was the question? I must have just nodded off for a second...
What other language do you want to be fluent in?
This one.
Do you crack your neck often?
I can't get out of bed in the morning until I crack my neck, back, elbows, wrists, fingers, ankles, toes and hips. I sound like an arthritic bowl of Rice Krispies...
What's your current favorite commercial?
This one.
Name something you think is pointless?
A guy with no hands...
Did you have a weird dream last night?
I was on a cruise ship that resembled my Granny's living room and somebody kidnapped my dog and held him in a Ford Explorer and he (Austin) was calling out my name but the kidnapper shut him up by feeding him potatoes au gratin and then I got off the ship and was at someone's cabin on the bayou and I went swimming in the crystal clear bayou water and a 40 foot wave came and almost killed me and then I was in a cave and there was a porta potty and I had to pee so I went in and someone had thrown up fruity pebbles all over it and I was angry then I was back in my Granny's living room cruise ship and I put on sweatpants and then Stew woke me up at 4:00 a.m. to kiss me goodbye before he went hunting. So, to answer your question - nope, just an average, run of the mill dream for me...
Should guys wear pink?
They certainly should. It gives me something to ridicule. And then we can go to lunch and get mani-pedis. And gossip about Justin Timberlake.
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