The Austin Chronicles - Part 3

Austin has a best friend. His name is Eric. Eric lived with Stewzie for 6 months following Hurricane Katrina and Austin fell into a deep bromance with Eric. Eric isn't a dog. Eric is a human. Eric used to be Stew's best friend, but Austin changed that. Now when Eric comes over, it's not uncommon for me to have to perform the Heimlich on my dog because he went and choked on his excitement. Again.

The other day, Eric not only came over, but came over WITH A GIFT! for his buddy Austin. Pause for a moment to visualize the heart attack Austin had when he saw this:

This is what I like to refer to as the MOAB (Mother of all Bones) - pictured above next to Stew's truck tire for size reference.

Not sure if I've mentioned just how OCD Austin is before, but his reaction to this rawhide monstrosity was similar to his reaction to anything out of the ordinary. The look in his wide brown eyes quickly turned to panic because THE BONE! THE BONE IS NOT A REGULAR SIZED BONE! His anxiety quickly became unbearable and he cried like a baby because THE BONE! I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START CHEWING THE GIANT BONE! He was completely exasperated. Once he had received sufficient parental reassurance and instruction to SHUT UP AND LIE DOWN WITH YOUR BONE, his fear turned to excitement and he was all THE BONE! I GET TO CHEW THE BONE! BONE! BONE! BONE!

Then, guess who made the mistake of kneeling down next to her little brown pup to share in the fun, only to get smacked in the cheekbone when said brown pup raised the MOAB up and swung it around like a light sabre?

You guessed it. Ahhh, the joys of pet ownership Austin ownership.