Mysterio Predicts

My awesome friend Lisa (Hi Lisa!) is due to have her first child any day now. Actually she's measuring like she'll possibly give birth on her Aunt SUZIE'S birthday, but that's a whole different story...and just for the record, if Baby Lisa Jr. decides to arrive on my big day, I will be OVERJOYED to share such a fabulous birth date with this little one...

So because I'm not exactly the type to buy a baby anything remotely cutesy, and if I ever come across any gift that even so much resembles embroidered pastel-colored teddy bears, precious moments figurines, or WINNIE THE FREAKING POOH, my gag reflex immediately goes into action.

My solution? MYSTERIO. Apparently he predicts your baby's future profession. With like 37% accuracy. Pretty good odds if you ask me. But you really shouldn't be asking someone so horrible at math.

Lisa may not know the sex of this baby yet, but he/she already has a solid future. Lisa can rest assured that her offspring will have a sought after career as...drumroll...



Dear Future Baby Hog Calling Champion, I can't wait to meet you. And have Stew teach you the fine art of hog calling.