Making sense-us of the census

The company I work for is operated out of a large office in my boss's house. This morning, the doorbell rang, and here's a snippet of what happened next:

Me: Can I help you?

Census Guy: I need to get some information from you for the 2010 Census.

Me: I only work here, I don't live here, but I know all the info about who resides here, so if that's okay...

Census Dude: Sure.

Me: My boss's name is Michael.

Census Idiot: M-I-C-H- what was his name again?

...Funny, I would have assumed short-term memory would be a necessary job requirement...

Me: (Blank stare) Here, I'll just spell it out. M-I-C-H-A-E-L. His son Christopher also lives here.

Census Moron: C-R- how do you spell that? And is he a biological son?

...Apparently knowledge of how to spell one of the most common names in America is also not a required skill...

Me: (Taking a deep breath) C-H-R-I-S-T-O-P-H-E-R. And yeah, biological.

Census Numbskull: What is Michael's ethnicity?

Me: White.

Census Fool: And Christopher's?

...Nor is simple deductive reasoning...

Me: (Banging my head against the wall) Well, if Michael is white and Christopher is his biological son, then...Never mind. Forgive me. You're a census-taker, not a Harvard-educated Sociologist. How silly of me! White.

Stereotypical Government Employee: And can I get your name?

Me: (Spelling my name VERY. SLOWLY.) Wait, you just wrote down that I live here full time. I don't. I just work here. Let me give you my addre-

Complete waste of time: -Oh, I doesn't really matter what I put down on here. Thanks. Bye.

...I couldn't make this up if I tried. The CENSUS-taker, who gets paid to collect information for the CENSUS, actually just told me that the information he puts on the CENSUS is not important to the outcome of the CENSUS...

Me: (Picking jaw up off the floor) Right. Good luck in your pursuits of gathering useless data!

I'll take wrong answer for $800, Alex

Category: Double E

Trebek: He's Winnie the Pooh's buddy, etc.

Stew: Who is Igor?

New Orleans spelling lesson

Him: "Babe, does VooDoo have 2 o's and 2 o's?"

Me: "You mean 4 o's?"

Him: "Whatever. Just cause you know how to spell everything."

Me: "I think what we have here is less of a spelling issue and more of a math issue."