Questionnaire Friday!

1. What is your middle name?
Leigh. The igh is silent.

2. How big is your bed?
Queen size. Unless Stew is in it with me. Then it’s “see how far we can push Suzie over into the tiny sliver of a corner without falling off” size.

3. What are the last 4 digits in your cell phone number?
8916…It’s significant, in a cheesy way.

4. Do you want children?
We plan to adopt a 17-year-old Asian computer whiz. When he hits 18 and invents a multi-billion dollar computer program, let’s hope it’s payday for Mama and Papa. Remember who adopted you, Chung!

5. Hair color?
Some of them are blonde. Some brown. Some prematurely gray. Some are a weird mishmash of colors only achieved through years of highlighting. My head is a kaleidoscope of hues, if you will.

6. Favorite Season?
Of the four: Football, Hunting, Crawfish and Hurricane…why the heck can’t Football and Hurricane coincide? Stupid global warming.

7. Piercings?
Would it lessen my street cred if I admitted I still have my belly button piercing from 1999? What can I say, my midsection likes bling.

8. Are you missing someone?
Now that you mention it, no.

9. Do you have a tattoo?
I’m thinking about “Yeah You Right” in Olde English font right above the white shrimp boot tat on my lower back.

10. Are you hiding something from someone right now?
Only the dismembered torso of that hitchhiker I picked up last week. I like my men like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

11. Are you 18?
Actually 29. But good guess. I’m flattered.

12. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
It used to be a photo of my niece Abbey (Road), but then I left a full bottle of Nexxus Shine Serum in my purse and it leaked all over my phone and distorted the whole screen with oily hair product. So just picture that picture twisted up inside a lava lamp. With unbelievable body and silkyness.


13. What are you afraid of?
Seagulls. Porcelain dolls. The Artist formerly known as Prince. Clown faces. Flocks of birds flying over my head. My reoccurring nightmare in which I think I’m still in college and I’m taking like 200 hours and I’M SO OVERWHELMED that I wake up rocking back and forth in a corner with Stew standing over me scratching his head wondering why I’m mumbling “I thought I was done, Please tell me it’s over.” Cellulite. Flocks of seagulls flying over my head. Unibrows. Taking a huge gulp of milk before reading that it expired 2 weeks ago.

14. What are your nicknames?
The obvious: Stewzie, Suzie (real name = Suzannah)
The often-used: Suze, SuSu, Suze-bear, Babydoll (by Stew)
The old school: Shaniqua Ebony Xavier
The awesome: Suz-a-palooza

15. What is your dad's middle name?
Leonard. That name sounds like it wears a pocket protector and thick glasses. (Hi Dad!)

16. What do you sleep in?
Beds, couches, snuggies, the corner, tents, hotels, cars, recliners, campers, sleeping bags, coffins…

17. Favorite TV commercial?
It’s a tie between this and this.

18. What were you doing before filling out this questionnaire?
Wriggling my arms out of the straightjacket.