Today is a good day. Wanna know why? I have now gone an entire week without puking. Thank you for easing up on me. Your mama is not a very pleasant puker to be around. Just ask your father. Or maybe just take my word for it. Want to know the coolest thing I puked over the span of the last 3 months of multiple daily pukes? No? Well, I'm going to tell you anyway. Why? Because I'm your mother, that's why. Chewy Sweet Tarts. It looked like tie-dyed puke. A work of abstract art, if you will. I apologize if those last few sentences embarrass you some day. I have a way of using sentences to embarrass people I love. Just ask your father. Or maybe just take my word for it.
So now that I have moved on from using every ounce of energy I have to keep from vomiting up my spleen, I plan to use all that leftover energy to do something productive. Like