Itching for Revenge

Retaliation. For THIS. You knew it was coming.
So did Lisa, I guess, but she probably wasn't predicting...



CRABS IN HER BUSH !!!!!!

My original plan was to get a big bag of little fake rubber dog poos and scatter them all over her yard, sidewalk, porch, car, etc. But they don't sell fake rubber dog poo anymore. So I settled on a big bag-o-crabs.



And because I'm an equal-opportunity crabber, I gave them a little case of mail crabs as well.



Neighborhood Wars: They're highly contagious.

Stewisms

Stew: What's the name of that egg casserole thing you make?

Me: It's called a frittata.

Stew: Like Nelly Frittata?

Me: Eggsactly.

Revenge of the Turds

Remember THIS post?

Yeah, well I got home from work a couple days ago and found this in my front yard:

First reaction? The pooping dog sign reads my blog!

Actual first reaction? Lisa committed Grand Theft Yard Sign.

Turns out my instinct was correct. Mostly.

My sneaky friend Lisa did in fact deface decorate my property with that awful pooping dog sign, but the sign was obtained completely legally. She didn't steal it from around the corner. She bought it. Which says a lot about my friends. They'll stoop to the level of spending their hard-earned money on useless crap (pun intended) just to give me a good laugh.

Now I just have to come up with a plan of revenge. One that rivals The Great Toilet-Papering of 2009 (in which i used toilet paper that Lisa bought me...because I'm ruthless)...

Lisa, consider yourself warned. Muahahahahaha....