Baby You're a Firework

It all started out as a sarcastic comment made by my husband. Isn't that always how it starts out?

We were talking about how we wanted to find out this baby's gender. I knew for sure I wanted it to be something memorable. Something meaningful. Something original. "Gender reveal" parties are increasingly common, and while I think the whole "cut the cake to see if the icing is pink or blue" idea is great, it's getting a little overused.

So, we're sitting around one evening tossing around ideas. The ultrasound was scheduled for June 23, a little more than a week before July 4th weekend. Stew blurts out "maybe we should just shoot some fireworks and when they explode pink or blue, that's how we'll find out?"

Of course, my brain started spinning with creative ideas. We could invite all our family and close friends, do a July 4th theme, complete with red & blue fireworks, and BAM! (no pun intended) we have the perfect gender reveal party. I even knew the perfect date for the party. July 3rd is the anniversary of the day we started dating (way back in 1998). What better way to celebrate? After several weeks, I successfully convinced Stew (Sure we can fit 70 people in our house! 27 year old a/c system? No problem!), then began taking steps to turn his sarcastic comment into a reality.

At the ultrasound, we turned our heads as they scanned "the area," then had the doctor write down the baby's gender, print a picture of "the area," and put everything in a tightly sealed envelope. We asked Stew's best friend Eric if he would do the honor of secretly reading the envelope contents at the party and then shooting the corresponding firework. He agreed. Then we waited until the local firework stands opened up and purchased red fireworks and blue fireworks. We did a test run a few days before the party to make sure the fireworks had the right effect. We forgot to tell my elderly neighbor we were testing the fireworks. Needless to say it was pretty funny when he ran outside at 9 pm, pistol in hand, thinking the explosion was signaling the end of the world.

I won't go into detail about the million things that threatened to ruin this party (3 hour power outage the day of the party, anyone?) but I will say that thanks to the neverending stream of help from our incredible family and friends, this party turned out to be more perfect than we could ever have imagined. Baby Stewzie, you are surely loved by everyone already.

Here are just a few of the photos from the party. Photo credits: My super-talented brother Tim.

You can find him @ tjmohrphoto.com

Team Boy: (the majority)

Team Girl: (the minority)

Team undecided: We wore black in honor of the power outage.

Red fireworks or Blue fireworks?

After much anticipation and suspense, Eric lit the fuse. Aaaand...

It's a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were shocked! Stew was convinced it was a boy.

Big brother Austin was surprised too:

This was by far THE BEST surprise of our lives. I seriously watch this video multiple times a day and I still get chills.

Baby GIRL,

We are so excited for you to be our daughter.

Love,

Mama and Daddy

Revenge of the Turds

Remember THIS post?

Yeah, well I got home from work a couple days ago and found this in my front yard:

First reaction? The pooping dog sign reads my blog!

Actual first reaction? Lisa committed Grand Theft Yard Sign.

Turns out my instinct was correct. Mostly.

My sneaky friend Lisa did in fact deface decorate my property with that awful pooping dog sign, but the sign was obtained completely legally. She didn't steal it from around the corner. She bought it. Which says a lot about my friends. They'll stoop to the level of spending their hard-earned money on useless crap (pun intended) just to give me a good laugh.

Now I just have to come up with a plan of revenge. One that rivals The Great Toilet-Papering of 2009 (in which i used toilet paper that Lisa bought me...because I'm ruthless)...

Lisa, consider yourself warned. Muahahahahaha....

Suzie de Mayo

Turning THIRTY comes with perks. Especially if you happen to be me.

It started out on Saturday with a mani-pedi at Serenity Day Spa with Lisa. Lisa had a bit of trouble controlling her bubbles. I had a bit of trouble controlling my laughter...

Then Stew brought me to our surprise dinner destination at Domenica @ The Roosevelt Hotel. I have no pictures of us from that night because I only had my iPhone camera on me and honestly I didn't want to risk handing it over to a stranger to take our picture...

After dinner we strolled down Canal Street and stumbled on this brass band playing a little impromptu concert on the corner. One of those "only in New Orleans" moments...

On Sunday it rained. All day. And I stayed home and pouted. All day. Gimme a break...

On Monday, my actual birthday, my mom stopped by my office to take me out for Thai food and bring me these lovely purple tulips...

I particularly appreciated the message on the card. Apparently, when she turned 30, her older brother sent her flowers with the same thing written on the card - so she was just carrying on the tradition...

I love that my mom found these and thought of me. What can I say, the woman nose me...

I even got my very own copy of the classic...

Special thanks to the City of New Orleans for this thoughtful gift...

That night, Stew and I hung out at the house and had dinner (grilled shrimp & veggies and charbroiled oysters) with Jonathan and Lisa. Tim, Gabby, Linda, Charles, and Katie stopped by also. (Hi Jonathan, Lisa, Tim, Gabby, Linda, Charles and Katie!) They surprised my with this rad cake-like concoction...

More specifically, brownies in a heart-shaped pan topped with 2 tie-dye balloons that say 3-0 and a citrus basil tealight candle. PERFECT! I'm soooo not the regular cake type.

On Tuesday, I was told (vaguely) that we were meeting at Amelia and Jeff's house after work to "do something" for my birthday. I showed up to find a (surprise) birthday fiesta for me...

The best part of the evening was this...

Linda had put together 5 little glass bowls. They were labeled "Thirty things I love about Suzie" & "Thirty things Suzie is grateful for over the past 30 years" & "Thirty things to look forward to in the next 30 years" & "Thirty inventions Suzie will be grateful for in the next 30 years" & my personal fave "Thirty things Suzie will never have to do again (THANK GOD)". Each bowl contained 30 little slips of paper that fit into each category. Periodically (in between bites of chips & homemade salsa), I'd go over, grab a little slip of paper, and read those little gems of wisdom.

I spent the rest of the night crying, cracking up, and everything in between. An example of why:

Suzie takes action. She found a weave in her shower in South Graham (dorm at LSU) and moved clear across campus!

Suzie can out-write Chris Rose any day of the week!

Suzie is married (so it doesn't matter if my boyfriends drool over her)!

The ladies: Linda, Betsey, Katie, Amelia, Me...

The gentlemen: Jeff (Amelia's), Stew (Suzie's), Jack (Betsey's), and Jeff (Katie's). Not pictured are Charles (Linda's) and Jonathan & Lisa (who left early cause Lisa's about to give birth any day)...

Lisa got in some last minute baby feeding practice with Baby June (Jeff & Katie's)...

Then showed off her new profile...

Let me just say this. I cannot imagine my life without all of these people. My first 30 years with them were *ahem* memorable to say the least. I can't wait to see what the next 30 have in store for us!

My 2nd Annual 29th Birthday

Today. May 3rd. Marks the date of my birth. Thirty years ago. THIRTY. Three whole decades.

I was asked this weekend if I was dreading the big 3-0. To tell you the truth, I haven't been. And I'm not freaking out now that I am. Officially. THAT age.

Honestly, 25 was the age that really hit me. In the face. Hard. I was at the grocery store buying candles for my own birthday cake (which is depressing in and of itself). Not sure if you've ever noticed, but birthday candles come in packs of 24. I was 25. Which meant I needed 2 packs of candles. FORTY EIGHT candles. I had graduated to the same candle bracket as a 48-year-old. Gone were the carefree days of simply one pack of candles! Also gone were the days of someone else taking care of the birthday candle buying, but that's a whole different issue.

Later on that year, I saw a billboard advertising the 25th Anniversary of Popeye's. Great, now I'm the same age as fried chicken.

It probably didn't help that at age 25, I was a few steps behind where I thought I'd be at that age. Sure, I had scored an awesome husband, but I still hadn't completed college or bought a house. I thought I'd surely have done both by then. After a whole quarter century! Then Katrina came and well, nothing really throws your life plans off track like a natural disaster.

Here's the good news. I made it to 30. And I'm happy about what I've accomplished thus far. Here's a recap of the past decade of me:

2000 - dropped out of LSU, planned my wedding, married the one and only Stewart Alexis

2001 - moved to Washington, lived on a military base, bought AUSTIN, bought AUSTIN a new $3,000 leg, cried when AUSTIN ate the whole roll of film that documented Stewzie's first year as a married couple

2002 - bought Black Betty, was voted Employee of the Year, moved back to Louisiana, readjusted to heat and humidity

2003 to 2004 - worked, saved, had my purse stolen by crackheads, missed Stew a lot (he worked offshore)

2005 - went back to college, paid for it myself, continued working full time, turned 25 along with a 2 piece, white meat, spicy, with a side of dirty rice, a biscuit and a red drink, got Katrina'd, lived in Arkansas for a month with 9 dogs and a whole mess of people, came back home and removed my neighbors' carport from our backyard, got a new job

2006 - went back to college (again), got a 4.0, kept working, paid off Black Betty, became an Aunt

2007 - kept my 4.0 streak alive, started househunting, kept working full time

2008 - bought a house, renovated it every night for 9 months, kept my job, my husband and my GPA but lost my sanity, EARNED my degree and finally graduated

2009 - learned to relax, thanked my husband, went public with my snoball love affair, started Stewzie

2010 - had a crazy dream that the Saints won the Super Bowl, realized it wasn't just a dream, dressed like a toothless hillbilly not once but twice, then turned THIRTY

Whew.

This is just a tiny percentage of the ups, downs, and in betweens of the past 10 years. If you are the one who created the above, good or bad, THANK YOU, I am truly blessed. If you have been a part of any of the above, good or bad, THANK YOU. If you weren't a part of any of the above, THANK YOU, because you're reading this now and that means you're a part of today. My 2nd Annual 29th Birthday. The first day of the rest of my life.


"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty." - Robert Frost

Spanxgiving

Oh yeah, you read that right. And yes, I totally am thankful for Spanx. If only they would make a pair that included a trap door so you could pee without becoming an amateur Cirque du Soleil contortionist while trying to hike them back up into position in a cramped bathroom stall. TMI? Good, that's what I was aiming for.

Other stuff for which I am thankful:

My Folks who love me 110% (and not because I'm the one who will eventually choose their nursing home).

My Broseph and Brotherford B. Hayes who are far more musically and artistically talented than I could ever hope to be.

My Abbey Sunshine who eased my fear of young children and is always excited to see me despite the fact that I fed her limes as a baby just to see the awkward faces she made in reaction to the sourness.

My Puppy McMuffin who regretfully knows more about me than anyone, and hasn't yet reported me to PETA for making him wear fake boobs for Halloween.

My In-Laws and Extended Family - for not being those crazy people who I can't stand spending time with and instead being those crazy people I LOVE spending time with.

My Friends who will let me snot on their shoulders when I'm sad, then make fun of me for it later.

My Husband who puts the "ew" in Stewzie, who I fall in love with more every day, who still can't figure out how to separate whites and darks, who makes phenomenal chocolate chip cookies and even shares one or two with me, and who has seen me at my best and my worst, but always loves me like I've never been better.